I started writing this article after a conversation with one of my mentees about a business relationship that had gone south.  My mentee was very distraught so to simplify things I wanted to give her a “common sense” scenario that she could relate to.

I started with this: Learn the Difference between people who abuse you or are trying to take advantage of you and people who just made a mistake. I made this statement because it became clear to me that after a few conversations that she gave the wrong people too much space in her life and business and that she judged people who made a mistake too harshly. It’s imperative that you DO NOT judge users/abusers and people who just made a mistake the same way. To determine which one they are just step back from the situation and look at some indicators like; motives, objectives, how willing were they to compromise, what did they want out of the relationship and vice versa; and then look at you.

Once you complete your assessment it’s time to communicate so you have to get to a point where you can get past your “feelings” and discuss the issues or you will never have a healthy professional or personal relationship with that person or any others. In other words, do not shut down emotionally and put up a wall.

Last thing to remember is that no relationship in life will be perfect. Not your relationship with your loved ones, your employees or your business partners. So you have to make a conscious decision about what you want out of each relationship, weigh the pros and cons and go with the most mutually beneficial relationships you can find in each category. Looking for perfection in others only sets you up for failures. Instead try looking for people that compliment you.

If you determine that someone is full of crap and only trying to use you; chuck the deuces (slag for F-off) and remove them from your business and personal circle. If they just make a mistake, think about how you want them to handle you when you’re in their shoes because it’s bound to happen.